Many studies have confirmed that loneliness is not good for you, whereas social interaction is good for your physical and mental health. The question is, "Should you continue to mingle with people if they are not supportive? Should you continue to have them in your social circle if they don't treat you with kindness and compassion?” The truth is that cutting people out of your life is an important skill to learn. Someone who never offers positive support shouldn't be there in your life. Similarly, anyone who offers no social support when you're ill should go out of your life. Is it always easy to cut ties with people? No, it is not, but you have to learn how to do it for better life.
Who Deserves to Be Cut Out?
The most important thing you need to understand is that not everyone deserves to go out of your life. You have to take your time and understand what types of people are there around you. Here are some specific types of people that you should get rid of.
1. The Negative
Cutting people out of your lifeis a tough decision, but negative thinkers don't deserve any attention. Anyone who complains 24/7 like an angry neighbor should go out of your life. They don't bring any positivity within them. They will find fault in everything and never propose any better plan.
2. The Downer
These people don't complain as soon as you propose something new, but it doesn't take them long to put on their bitchy resting face.
3. The Judge
People who are extremely judgmental about you or anything you do should have no place in your life. Whenever you're with them, you will have to monitor your behavior to impress "the judge". Giving you constructive criticism is one thing but constant nagging can never be good.
4. The Taker
The person will have his/her focus on taking and they will never bring any value to the relationship. No matter how hard you try, your relationship will never flourish unless the other party also fulfills his side of the bargain. If it feels that you're the one who always does the work and the other person only dictates you, it's time to say enough is enough. Get rid of them!
5. The Manipulator
All these people care about is how they can get out of any given situation. They don't think anyone else but them. You need to take steps to disengage from their manipulation and cut them out of your life.
6. The Unsupportive One
A good friend will always be there irrespective of what you do in life. They will support you even if they don't agree with you on something. The unsupportive people just don't want you to succeed in life and they won't support you when you want to try something new. Avoid these people if you really want to follow your dreams.
7. The One Who Refuses to Forgive
The life is all about making mistakes and then learning from them to improve. If people who refuse to forgive you for a mistake you make surround you, you will be better off without them. Remember, a person is not your friend if they cannot forgive you for something.
How to Cut People Out of Your Life
Once you have identified the people who really deserve to go out of your life, you need to learn the process of cutting people out of your life.
1. Understand That it Will Take Some Time
It's just like getting rid of toxic elements in your body. You may even have to tell them to go out of your life and maintain the distance, and they might come back again. Show some resilience and remember that you're doing it for a better life.
2. Don't Feel Embarrassed or Think Too Much About Explaining Your Decision
It is your life and someone who doesn't care for you has no right to stay with you. You may tell them a bit about how you feel and why you think you two should part ways, but don't think that you owe them a huge explanation. If they understand it, that's great. If they don't, simply walk out.
3. Explain Your Decision in a Public Place
Toxic people can react badly when you say you no longer need them in your life. Talking to them in a public place will keep them from taking any action. Just get up and leave when you think it's turning into an intense argument.
4. Don't Allow Them Access to Your Life on Social Media
They can always use social media to cajole or bully you. Be sure to stick to the boundaries you have set for yourself. Take steps to shut down all lines of communication to ensure they don't affect you in any way.
5. Avoid Getting in an Argument With a Toxic Person
These people will always try to pick a fight but you have to restate your boundaries and ensure that you don't engage in any argument and end communication. You don't need to convince the other person of your decision.
6. Write Your Thoughts on Paper
If you think talking face-to-face will lead to issues, you may consider sending them a letter, explaining a bit about why you think you two cannot go any further in a relationship. Even if you decide to meet them, you can still write a letter and practice what you will say once you two come face-to-face. You can always read this letter to remind you why you've decided to cut those people out of your life.
7. Learn to Create Distance
Not everyone in your circle will be toxic, but he/she can certain be a drag. Just spend more time with other friends and maintain your distance with those folks.
8. Trust Your Instincts
No one knows you better than you know yourself. If someone's toxic to your well-being, you will know it and you have to react to the situation. Don't suffer silently. No matter how special you think some people are for you, they are never the right people to hang around with if you don't feel any chemistry. You deserve better. You deserve a positive environment where there is no negativity. So, make a move today!
9. Avoid Bad-Mouthing the People You no Longer Want in Your Life
This is very important when cutting people out of your life. Insulting their character will make things difficult and put you in a negative state of mind. Things like eye-rolling, name-calling, gossiping, etc., will only hurt you and make you a negative person. Avoid it at all cost!