Although the life cycle of every individual is unique, it has been observed that certain similarities exist at particular ages and stages of life. For example, it is common for men to go through a complicated state of anxiety, stress and depression at some point during their 35th to 50th birthday. This is known as “midlife crises”. It is characterized by a heightened state of emotional discomfort and can last for up to 10 years. The reasons of midlife crises majorly include job dissatisfaction, personal life problems etc. The most important factor in managing these crises situation is lifestyle modification to regain emotional strength and confidence.
Signs of Midlife Crisis in Men
1. Boredom with Life
The person feels depressed and mostly manifests a quite behavior even when there is complete satisfaction from the job. The appearance of sudden restlessness is characteristic during this phase, accompanied with apathy and occasional episodes of depression. The reasons may include:
- The person has entered into his mid-age and now a feeling of not achieving planned goals is hitting him hard.
- Or the person has achieved all his goals and now has nothing left to achieve (demotivation).
2. Making Impetuous Decisions
Sudden change in interest and activities such as job or career goal can be explained as the development of midlife crisis. This stage usually occurs when there is a desire to fulfill all the dreams to the fullest and leave no regrets.
3. Dramatic Change in Appearance or Style
A dramatic change in appearance such as hairstyle, or going for facials without any specific reason is an alarming situation, which should be noticed and ruled out accordingly, as this problem may get much worse than you think.
4. Loss of Interest in Spending Quality Time Together
Men who are not satisfied with their marital or sexual status may suffer from midlife crisis significantly.
5. Anger and Blame of Spouse
It is imperative to mention that midlife crisis in men affects the quality of relationships, but the husband never find the problem in him and instead blame the spouse and people around him.
6. Excessive Drinking
Excessive intake of alcohol is also a clear indication that a man is suffering from midlife crisis. It can be detected by the odor of liquor, red eyes, compromised behavior etc.
7. Depression
Depression may appear as a consequence of any condition such as loss of a close friend or someone in the family, job stress, relationship issues etc. In some cases some small issues can also trigger the depression and severe emotional disturbances.
8. Nostalgia
The feeling of not accomplishing something in life and thinking of ‘what if’, and regret some past life decisions makes a man moves towards his midlife crisis.
How to Deal with Midlife Crisis in Men
The most important factor which can help dealing with midlife crisis in men includes life style modifications such as doing regular exercise, maintaining a healthy and balanced diet etc. In addition, sharing life experiences through joining social and support groups also help in containing the situation.
For Men Themselves
- Stay positive: Always try to look at the positive aspects of life and events. Try to be thankful for all the good things one is provided with.
- Be realistic: The era between 35 to 55 is one in which a man makes most of his successful decisions such as trying new fields, exploring different working environments and starting personal business etc. However if the outcomes are not positive, it is time to make some realistic moves after carefully analyzing your situation.
- Take advice: Before going for any serious decision, talk to someone trustworthy for advice. In this way more options may come up, which can help in taking over the situation.
- Overcome your feelings: Please keep in mind that midlife crisis are not permanent. It is just a part of life like other stages, and can be managed very effectively. Locate the problems and try to take control of your life.
For Their Spouses
- Stay calm: Just because the man is stressed or depressed doesn’t mean he’ll stay the same forever. Don’t question your future with him. The situation is temporary, so stay calm and provide ample support to your man experiencing midlife crisis.
- Give time to yourself: Maintain yourself by taking care of your mental and physical health. When he comes home from his stressful office time, your fresh and warm welcome can surely make his mood better and positive. Remember even if your partner is having an extra marital affair, do not blame yourself for it. Be ready to support him and yourself mentally, and this can only happen when you remain strong physically and mentally.
- Prepare yourself for changes in your sexual relationship: Communicate with your man frequently so that you are aware of the changes that he is experiencing. Continue to be patient. Do not pressure him for sex. However, unwillingness to have intimate relationship with you might indicate that he is having an affair, in which case you might need marriage counseling to help getting through this transitional stage.
- Assure him that you care for him: An assurance and support from you to tell him that his partner is standing by him at all times (either good or bad) can bring a man back from midlife crisis.
For more information on how to deal with midlife crisis in men, please watch a video: