Sometimes in life, you end up hurting the people you care about the most. While it may not have been intentional, the damage it causes can take a while to repair. If you have hurt someone you deeply care for, the first step you need to take to heal the relationship is to seek their forgiveness. When you ask for forgiveness, you start the process of healing and moving on.

For most people, asking for forgiveness is the hardest part of a relationship even though it is highly recommended. When you ask for forgiveness, you are telling that person that you're mature enough to own up to your mistakes and that you regret that you hurt them.  

Once you ask for forgiveness, you are not guaranteed that the other party will forgive you. Even so, there are a few steps you can take to make possible for them to consider forgiving you.

How to Get Someone to Forgive You

1. Admit That You Have Hurt the Other Person

This is the first step to getting someone to forgive you. Before you go apologizing, you need to come clean with yourself first. It might be painful, but you must first accept that you were wrong and your actions hurt other people. When you want to ask someone to forgiven you, you must show the willingness to want to repair the relationship. This starts with you accepting your mistakes. Only then can you understand the level of pain you caused and how much responsibility you have in repairing the relationship.

2. Ask for Forgiveness

The next step is to talk to the person you wronged and actually ask for forgiveness. If you plan to do it in person, it is ideal for you to write down your apology. Say it to yourself out loud and ensure the words are right. Ensure you are completely honest about your feelings in the apology. In your apology, you need to be clear about what you are sorry. Ensure you do not try to make excuses for how you acted. If it is difficult to meet the person alone, you can find a 3rd person who acts as the peacemaker. Even as you plan to apologize, keep your expectation low. Depending on how bad the situation is, you may be forgiven immediately or it may take time.

3. Don’t Be Defensive 

When you decide to apologize, one way of how to get someone to forgive you is to try and not be defensive when it’s their turn to express how they feel. Remember that they are the ones you wronged. Trying to be defensive can only make things worse. Simply listen and apologize when you need to. 

4. Give Them Space

Once you have met them and apologized, avoid calling them or communicating with them. Give the person space to sort their feelings out. This is especially important if the fallout was huge. When you don’t bug them with calls and texts, you give them enough room to heal. Constant texting and calling can come off as pressure. You don’t want to seem like you're forcing them to forgive you. When they are ready, they will come to you.

5. Forgive Yourself 

It is ridiculous to expect someone else to forgive you when you cannot forgive yourself. Once you have apologized to the person you hurt, you need to forgive yourself to be able to move on. Remember that you are only human. As you forgive yourself, ensure you learn from your mistake to avoid a repeat in the future.

6. Be Willing to Change

People find motivation from their pleasures and pain. When trying to find a way of how to get someone to forgive you, you need to really care about their pain and understand the damage you caused. Therefore, it is important for you to show the willingness to change. Ensure you do not make the same mistake again especially with the same person in the future.

7. Do Not Demand Forgiveness

The most you can do is offer an apology. Beyond that, you can do very little to try and make them forgive you. One thing you should not do is demand forgiveness from the person you wronged.  This comes off as rude and very selfish. The decision on whether or not they forgive you is entirely theirs to make. Demanding for forgiveness can ruin any chance you had of mending the relationship.   

8. Do Something Nice for Them

Doing something nice for someone is a kind gesture and a good way to apologize. Get them a gift or take them out for a movie they wanted to see, or simply go over to their place with a token to apologize. This can go a long way towards mending broken relationships. Reach out to show that you care enough, and that you are sorry for what you did. If you are lucky, you will be forgiven.

How to Know They Have Forgiven You

Now that you know how to get someone to forgive you, how do you know if they have forgiven you? There is really no litmus test when it comes to getting forgiven for hurting people. However, there are some ways through which you can know whether someone has really forgiven you.

1. They Will Tell You

For most people, if you took the time to apologize, they will take the time to let you know that they have forgiven you.  

2. They Will Show It

Some people are not very good with words, and thus their actions speak louder. If they forgive you, they may start calling and making time to see you. If they seem like they want things to go back to the way they were before the fallout, chances are they have truly forgiven you.

3. They Will Never Talk About It

Once someone forgives you, you will never hear them speak of the issue again. This is one of the clear signs of forgiveness.